staff

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@anti-software-software-club

@staff is on the clock from 9am EST to 5pm PST every weekday.


Be sure to check out the status of known bugs, feature requests, and other site improvements in the notion link above.


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We here at cohost believe in doing things differently from other social media platforms. We think our approach is part of creating a healthier platform, but we’ve heard some complaints loud and clear.

Many potential users bounce off of cohost due to a lack of metrics. They want a number that gets bigger the more they post good. We have taken this feedback to heart and today are introducing our most exciting feature yet: Numbers™️.

FAQ

Q. How do I get access to Numbers™️?
A. You already have it! Every post now shows how many Numbers™️ it has at the bottom. Clicking or tapping on the Numbers™️ updates to show the most recent count.

Q. What does Numbers™️ actually represent?
A. Unsure! Eggbug wrote this one and he won’t tell us how it works. If you figure it out, please let us know.

Q. Is Numbers™️ a permanent feature?
A. Numbers™️ is an experiment we’re running this weekend only. Depending on feedback, we may bring Numbers™️ back in the future.

Q. I hate this. Can I turn it off?
A. Yep! Check your display settings.

Q. Unrelated question: why is the site blue?
A. Don’t worry about it.


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in reply to @staff's post:

A: they are being used as arms in a textbook example of centaurism, the evolutionary phenomenon where the front legs of an animal are repurposed as grasping appendages

initially I thought the Numbers™ -- oops, sorry, the Numbers™️ -- the Numbers™️™? -- were just how many seconds it'd been since the chost was egged, but I'm no longer convinced that's the case. I suspect it's actually an extremely complex convolution of views, likes, and malicious intents, normalized by quadratic time. but I'll need longer to work out the precise relationship.

is there a way to make it so the website theme is back to normal? i use kiophen's stylus theme since you forgot to make post backgrounds dark for dark mode & this prank has rendered a lot of things (including the crappy little alt text entry box) illegible.

also, seriously, please fix the dark mode! did you know tumblr has multiple themes, including ones that make the post backgrounds not bright white?