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Wed May 01, 2024
	In a story that is from 2024 and not 2004, thieves steal $400 worth of DVDs from a bookstore in the Mall source: 6abc.com \| share: Copy Link	2
	Sex toy left at woman's work station her manager addresses the situation by saying "Hey is this yours, did you drop it is this what you lesbians use?" source: advocate.com \| share: Copy Link	28
	Only YOU can prevent Smokey the Bear from being stolen source: kulr8.com \| share: Copy Link	15
	Ashley Madison matchmaking site finally living up to its potential: connecting would-be adulterers with blackmailers source: gizmodo.com \| share: Copy Link	29
	Fark NotNewsletter: May Subscription Drive - if we can get 1,000 new TotalFark subscribers in the next 30 days Drew will fight Mike Tyson* source: fark.com \| share: Copy Link	32
	"If you set your goals ridiculously high, and it's a failure, you will fail above everyone else's success." James Cameron. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Successful Failure Edition source: farkfiction.net \| share: Copy Link	19
	Man with a bad case of munchies, decided the best thing to do is to steal a food truck (with a "I'm still high" mugshot) source: wral.com \| share: Copy Link	14
	Photoshop this airborne ale source: live.staticflickr.com \| share: Copy Link	12
	He's a lumberjack and he's OK source: dailymail.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	10
	Thieves make off with a hundred pounds of smoked salmon, as police say the burglars must have picked the lox source: kiro7.com \| share: Copy Link	29
	A man spent more than 50 years living behind locked doors in hospital asylum despite not being acutely unwell. Sadly not a repeat from the 19th century source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	19
	On this day in history, in 1898 the U.S. destroyed the Spanish Pacific fleet in the Battle of Manila Bay, achieving vengeance for the Maine and gaining access to Spain's valuable Manila Folder supply source: history.com \| share: Copy Link	46
	Massive crowd gathers on San Francisco pier, asking questions, and looking for a reasoned discussion source: abc7.com \| share: Copy Link	36
	"Oh, look, kids. That cute bear is coming over to play with the little ducklings" source: aol.com \| share: Copy Link	74
	COVID-19 hospitalizations hiat record low, the CDC says. So feel free to go out and lick public doorknobs again source: abcnews.go.com \| share: Copy Link	74
	Shooter at subby's kids' school down the street holy fark [Update: shooter has been neutralized] source: channel3000.com \| share: Copy Link	152
	Apparantly someone is having too many umbrella drinks over in Dubai, they just unveiled the world's biggest beach project, like building high-tech bio domes and turning 45 miles of coast into mangrove reefs (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	30
	Chinese women are teaming up with strangers to save money. Wait, is that what they call it over there? source: bbc.com \| share: Copy Link	20
	Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes tunes from...What? His 500th show? Jeez you'd think he'd do a better job by now. Oh and two recordings from The Church you've never heard. Starts @ 1:00PM ET, LGT streaming options source: kuci.org \| share: Copy Link	161
	Man pleading for return of missing emotional support animal. Is described as short, scaly, green, and a mouth filled with sharp teeth. Was also the visual model for the alligator in Disney+'s "Loki" source: fox13news.com \| share: Copy Link	17
	Two arrested trying to smuggle over 4 million pounds worth of cocaine into London. Flight started in Jamaica. Maybe cops check those flights more carefully source: thisislocallondon.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	43
	Supercomputer predicts how the world will end and it's somehow not death by snu snu source: metro.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	61
	Massive riots break out in Georgia, oddly not football related source: cnbc.com \| share: Copy Link	33
	Map of the drunkest counties in the US. I can see Wisconsin from orbit. And Denver source: vinepair.com \| share: Copy Link	94
	If you're a 'fitness influencer', don't visit Saudi Arabia source: apnews.com \| share: Copy Link	87
	Looks like face-eating is back on the menu in Vegas. Literally source: dailymail.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	35
	Your ass just got fired from your law firm and you got suspended from the bar for submitting a ChatGPT motion riddled with errors, what do you do? Why double down, of course source: dailymail.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	57
	"The only way he found his way back was with lightning strikes that lit the road. He ran as fast as he could, as hard as he could, he made a mile in 10 minutes. That's pretty impressive for a little kid" source: cbsnews.com \| share: Copy Link	61
	Caltrans once again attempts to explain highway lines to drivers. Surely this time will work source: ktla.com \| share: Copy Link	53
	Photoshop these guys and their toilet parts source: bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com \| share: Copy Link	11
	Meet Archie, the newest member of American Family Children's Hospital's CHAMPs program. He joins fellow child life teammates Cola & Kiko and their handlers to help bring comfort to patients and their families. Welcome to Woofday Wetnose Wednesday (w/video) source: wisn.com \| share: Copy Link	101
	Khan gains valuable intergalactic endorsement in his fight for mayor, world domination source: dailymail.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	28
	4 of 5 Texas ranchers agree: government regulation is bad, except when I find PFAS in MY breakfast cereal source: wfaa.com \| share: Copy Link	64
	Actual headline: Meth, pills and farm animals seized during traffic stop in Yolo County source: fox40.com \| share: Copy Link	30
	Day 798 of WW3.10-year-old Ukrainian wins chess championship by beating Russian player, which is hopefully a metaphor. More refineries in Mordor experience cotton. The West stops buying uranium from Russia. This is your Wednesday Ukraine War thread source: kyivindependent.com \| share: Copy Link	229
	Woman goes all-in on jailhouse romance. Boyfriend folds (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	33
	Just one hit of LSD and you could get "Hippie Still High Disorder", and never stop tripping source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	93
	2019: Lawyer gets stopped for DUI by cops, tells them "Fark you, I'm a lawyer, you dumb fark." 2024: FL Supreme Court orders same lawyer to stop practicing law because he's been stealing clients' settlement money source: firstcoastnews.com \| share: Copy Link	21
	After meeting online for hookup, Florida woman meets Florida man for a date. They go back to her house after the date and she offers him sex with a choice, either plata o plomo source: fox13news.com \| share: Copy Link	30
	One of those heartwarming, "Only in America" stories. Wait, did I say "heartwarming"? I mean that other H-word.....oh yeah, "horrifying": "High school football coach unable to get chemo due to shortage dies at 60" source: today.com \| share: Copy Link	36
(Some Guy)	Out of respect for the second amendment, details have been withheld from this story source: wtaj.com \| share: Copy Link	27
	Japan to trial AI bear warning system after record number of attacks by artificially intelligent bears source: theguardian.com \| share: Copy Link	19
	And then the lord said unto him, let there be chocolate bombs, and may your triple-matching be pure and true source: kotaku.com \| share: Copy Link	15
	So, remember that emergency slide that fell off a Delta flight? Yeah, about that source: nypost.com \| share: Copy Link	39
	Lions having sex on the roof of our vehicle was definitely not mentioned in the brochure source: tmz.com \| share: Copy Link	40
	Is that a bag of snakes in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? source: wfla.com \| share: Copy Link	12

Tue April 30, 2024
	Overzealous dentist pushes implant screw into man's brain cavity for that extra zinger of pain dentists like to give unsuspecting patients source: odditycentral.com \| share: Copy Link	63
	Desperate $30bn plan to move entire city of Jakarta, Indonesia and its 11 million people 1,200 miles away as it's sinking fast. Take note other coastal cities, this could be you soon (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	61
(KPQ News Radio)	Alien abduction insurance policy costs $19.99 and pays out 10 million dollars if you get abducted. It's important to note that you'll need an alien signature to verify your claims source: kpq.com \| share: Copy Link	34
	"Running home for Christmas", or "Objects in the rhea view mirror may appear closer than they are" source: bbc.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	8

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